Caffeinated Crushes
by asentia
Summary: Draco Malfoy receives an anonymous love letter from a golden-haired beauty and chaos ensues. One-shot.


A/N: One-shot that I wrote on a whim a while ago. Disclaimer: anything and everything Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

_Dearest Draco Malfoy,_

_I see you in the halls and I cannot help but imagine the things I want to do to you. Your stormy grey eyes hide mysteries that are screaming to be solved and your Monmour Coffee scent is enough to keep me caffeinated._

_Keep watch: I'm a witty golden-haired beauty with a taste in bold colours._

_A.G._

Draco Malfoy smirked as he read the letter and he was still smirking as he read it out loud to the next five people who walked past his open office (Padma Patil, Jace Creary, Potter, Zabini, and Granger).

"Who's A.G.?" Granger asked in her annoyingly curious manner.

"Astoria Greengrass," Draco said proudly. "The young, blonde, and very voluptuous Slytherin—"

"I know who _she_ is, Malfoy," Granger said, laughing. For some reason she kept glancing behind Draco's shoulder. Maybe she was looking for Weasley. "I have to go, Malfoy; Kingsley's waiting for me. The usual, tonight?"

"Of course," Draco said with a lascivious smile. Granger just rolled her coffee-coloured eyes (they were, specifically, replicas of the caramel and hazel-flavoured coffee from Monmour) and pranced away.

The Slytherin searched through his filing cabinets and across his desk for a quill then began to write.

_A.G._

_I am charmed by your detailed observances. Not many people at the Ministry have been to the Monmour coffee place, save myself and several friends._

_Have we been properly introduced?_

(Draco chuckled. His only memorable interaction with Astoria Greengrass was two weeks ago, when he had collided with her in a corridor, albeit purposely on his part). He took the opportunity to be... observant, but her robes were unfortunately loose-fitting and opaque. The flustered girl had pushed him away and hastily entered a private office.

_If not, come find me at lunch later and we can have a nice little chat. I am quite interested in you; observant people tend to be much more fascinating than the unemphatic._

_D.M._

Draco sealed the envelope with a much-relished licking and sent it on its way. Hopefully, Astoria would come in much clearer robes this time.

* * *

A furious, wild-eyed Weasley (second-youngest) stormed into Draco's cubicle, a shiny silver paper in his hand.

"Good, you have the reply," Draco said merrily, reaching out for the note.

"YOU INFURIATING LITTLE SHIT!" Weasley exclaimed. "YOUR BLOODY PENPAL SENT ME MORE THAN A DOZEN REPLIES TO RELAY TO YOU!"

"Well, relay them."

Weasley glared at Draco who only glanced at the redhead, checked his watch, and then continued writing his report.

"Tell them that I'm not a bloody post owl," Weasley seethed. Draco nodded and there was a white flash before Draco's in-box was filled to the ceiling with sharp, silver papers.

Draco picked one out and read the reply greedily.

_D.M._

_You're so formal, using your initials. I would insist on a first-name basis but I like your large D,_

(Draco smirked. It _was_ quite large,) _and the sharpness of your M._

_I cannot come to lunch today due to a large workload. What about tomorrow? I'll bring you a cup of that caramel and toffee coffee you seem to be so fond of to make up for the wait._

_A.G._

Draco tilted his head, perplexed. Toffeemel Coffee was the drink of choice when keeping Blaise and Theo company as all of them liked it, but he usually drank Granger's Hazelmel coffee at work because her office was nearby and she was excellent at brewing coffee.

Then there was the lime and honey coffee that Draco's mother always served at her stuck-up societal gatherings at the Manor. The Greengrasses were frequents and it was the only drink Draco would have at home. Wouldn't Astoria bring that instead of the saccharine Toffeemel?

"Knock, knock," Granger said as she walked into the cubicle. She glanced at Draco's overflowing in box in amusement then at the owner with more amusement. "Let me see that. Oh! She likes your large D! I wonder what that stands for." Granger rolled her eyes and Draco thought, perplexed.

"How often do I drink that caramel toffee coffee?" Draco asked. Granger scrunched her nose in distaste.

"That liquid sugar you mean?" Granger asked. "You had it a lot at Hogwarts but now you always steal my coffee. Why?"

"Astoria's been to my mum's gatherings before so wouldn't she think I favour that lime and honey blend, not the caramel toffee one that I haven't drunk publicly since Hogwarts." Granger rolled her eyes.

"Of course _you_ would fret over something like that," Granger said. "Maybe she doesn't know you as well as you thought. She doesn't work with you so how would she know your office drink preferences? Anyway, you should focus on winning her over, not how much she knows about you."

"You're right, but I'm a bit disappointed that she isn't as observant as I thought she was. Why are you here again?"

"Can I bring over a friend tonight?" Granger asked hesitantly. "I think you two would be great friends. Maybe more."

"As long as it isn't a Weasley, go ahead. But no guarantees that I'll like her." Hermione grinned, her coffee-coloured eyes twinkling. She looked rather pretty. Draco felt something dawn on him. Not only was she one of the prettiest girls in their department but she was also fun, kind, forgiving, funny if she put her mind to it, and smart, of course. She also knew him almost as well as Blaise and Theo and she didn't seem very disgusted.

Maybe if this whole Astoria thing didn't work out, he could charm Granger...

"Great! See you." Granger— no, Hermione said. Hermione sounded much nicer than Granger.

"Bye," Draco croaked, still shell-shocked by his new discovery. She was actually _pretty_!

Draco glanced back down at his desk and saw the silver paper. Oh, right, Astoria. He could probably charm her like a snake. Maybe he could give her some new robes... but there was a nagging part of his brain that whispered, "Hermione, Hermione, Hermione," and suddenly, Draco forgot all about the letter and focused on the lengthy list of books Hermione wanted for her upcoming birthday.

* * *

"Ow!"

"What—"

"Get off me!"

"Um..."

The four new arrivals at 27 Eustace Circle all grimaced, rubbing sore shoulders and foreheads, and picking out rose thorns and blades of grass from clothes.

"That was a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon," Hermione Granger said suddenly, with big, excited eyes. "Multiple Apparition into the same spot!"

Blaise Zabini groaned as he peeled off several burrs. "I really liked this sweater. It's exclusively sold in Canada. But nope! We all had to Apparate at the same time! Now the hem is ruined."

"Relax, Blaise, I thought you were a wizard. Just wave your wand," said Draco. He glanced at Hermione and noticed a big, hulking blond man picking grass out of her hair. "Hey, who're you?"

"This is Anthony," Hermione said, ignoring Draco's glare. "He works in the Goblin Liaison office."

"Hi," Anthony said shyly, his cheeks tinged pink.

"Shall we go inside?" Hermione asked pointedly at Draco. He grunted and unlocked the flat door, trying not to strangle 'Anthony' as he held Hermione's elbow unnecessarily. Who did he think he was anyway? Granger wasn't some damsel in distress. Quite the opposite actually. Draco muttered to himself angrily as he slammed clean mugs on the kitchen counter.

"Anthony, would you like some tea?" Draco barked. Anthony looked up but didn't move from his spot on the couch where his thigh was touching Granger's. Oh Merlin, he called her Granger again.

"No thanks," Anthony said so quietly that Draco barely heard him. The hulking mass held up a brown bag. "I brought some coffee beans though. Monmour."

"What flavour?" Blaise asked, returning from the guest room upstairs (which was mostly just his storage unit). He was wearing a new sweater that said 'Roots' and was eating Wotsits by the handful.

"Um, I brought two actually," Anthony said, finally standing up and gliding to the counter. He wouldn't meet Draco's eyes as he held out two brown bags. "One tastes fruity and the other is Toffeemel. I heard it's your favourite—"

"Who told you it's my favourite?" Draco snapped. Anthony widened his eyes.

"Um, I've, uh, seen you drink it around the office," Anthony stammered.

"Wrong! I never drink it around the office!" Draco exclaimed shrilly. He narrowed his eyes at the other blond man. "What's your last name, Anthony?"

"G-Goldstein?" Anthony squeaked.

Draco gawked. "A.G."

Silence.

Then hesistant laughter.

"Are _you_ A.G.?" Blaise exclaimed. Anthony nodded jerkily, his face beet red. The latter glanced at Draco hesitantly.

"So do you, um, wanna, uh, you know, uh, go out sometime?" Anthony stuttered. Draco just continued to gawk.

"I knew Astoria would never go for you!" Blaise shrieked, falling to the carpet floor and laughing. His laughs soon became silent as he ran out of air and Draco watched, still shell-shocked, as Hermione picked up an ashen Blaise and started hitting him on the back with the heel of her hand.

"Breathe, Godric, breathe!" Hermione cried. Suddenly, soggy orange mush flew out of Blaise's mouth and he inhaled long and hard.

"Thanks, Hermione," Blaise gasped. He smirked at Draco. "You should answer Anthony. It's rude to keep one waiting."

"It's also rude to spit out half-eaten Wotsits on my _brand new carpet,_" Draco snarled.

"Relax, Malfoy, I thought you were a wizard. Just wave your wand," Blaise repeated pointedly with relish.

"It's always good to try new things," Hermione added. "Gay monogamous relationships included!"

"Y-yeah," Anthony agreed. Draco scowled. So all this time it had been 'golden' Goldstein corresponding with him and not the gorgeous Greengrass.

"Maybe another time," Draco said, glancing at Hermione who was laughing silently. Anthony frowned. "I'm a bit interested in someone else at the moment."

"Astoria Greengrass?" Blaise snorted. "She's engaged to Cavill from the Games and Sports Department."

"Nope. The person I like has bigger brains and bigger hair," Draco said wistfully. Anthony's eyes widened, Hermione raised an eyebrow, and Blaise began to laugh. Again.

"Come, Anthony, I'll show you some of my souvenirs from Canada," said Blaise. Anthony's eyes lit up. "It's a great country. There's Tim Horton's, hickory sticks, and everyone is so polite!" Blaise forcefully grabbed Anthony by the ear and dragged him out of the room.

Draco stood up and walked over to Hermione, who looked nervous. Her cheeks were a pretty rose colour and she was trying to suppress a smile.

"You have big brains. And big hair," Draco said, the words feeling like big wooden blocks in his mouth. They were tumbling out uncontrollably and he had no idea what he would say next. "If the letters had been from H.G. instead of A.G. I would've really liked that. H.G. means you, by the way."

Hermione chuckled. "You would've liked it if I said you have a large D and a sharp M?"

"That sounds great coming out of your mouth," Draco said with a smirk. "Um, you know, I think I like you, Hermione Granger. Can I kiss you?"

"Well, Anthony would have to be okay with it," Hermione said with a grin. Draco rolled his eyes.

"ANTHONY, CAN I KISS GRANGER?" he yelled. There was a faint, "Sure," from the second floor followed by a, "Finally." Draco's smile grew. "I knew he'd be okay with it. He seems like a one-night-stand kind of guy."

"What about you?" Granger asked, her whole face flooded with red. "Are you a one-night-stand kind of guy?"

Draco scoffed. "I'm the most committed guy you'll ever meet. I'm like an effing puppy."

"You're as cute as one too."

"Can I kiss you _now_?"

"Sure."

Their lips met and it was better than any Monmour coffee.

* * *

A/N: I hoped you like this! Feedback is much-loved :3


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